Marriage Counseling in Castle Rock, CO

Do you feel like you and your partner just can’t connect no matter how hard you try? Despite your best efforts, you’re stuck in an endless cycle of having the same kinds of fights over and over again. Perhaps, understanding each other seems like a thing of the past. Communicating well feels impossible. Subsequently, you seem to be ‘picking’ at your partner by yelling or blaming them. Or maybe, you want to shut down or to run away .

Couples Therapy can help!

Lifetouch Counseling uses Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to help couples. EFT helps resolve these endless cycles that we get caught in with our partners.

Overall, EFT looks at everyone’s need to feel seen, loved, important, and cared for by important people in our lives. As we’re growing up, most of our parents try to give us this experience. Yet, we often didn’t feel these things in childhood. Now as adults, those needs usually show up in our intimate relationships. And, we tend to repeat what it looked like when we were growing up. Now, you may feel disconnection with your partner, because these needs still are unmet.

The goals for marriage counseling:

1. Realize what your unmet needs are
2. Share that with your partner
3. Meet your partner’s unmet needs

Let’s stop the cycle and create a new pattern of communicating.

We can work on meeting these underlying needs and feelings instead of only what’s on the surface.

Try it out.

Take a moment and imagine two different scenarios. You walk in the door after a long day of work and your partner says “I’m so mad at you–I can’t believe you came home late again!”

Now, imagine the same situation of walking in the door after work. Your partner says “I feel so lonely and unimportant to you when you come home late” instead. Notice what changes in what they are communicating. Observe how you would feel if your partner were to say each of those things. In the first statement, you might feel frustrated and defensive. In the second statement, you might feel softer or more gentle towards your partner. Saying things in a different way can cause your partner to feel tender towards you. This leads to a different conversation.

Chiefly, we will help you process these types of communication differences in therapy.

Reasons why people seek out marriage counseling:

* Develop better communication skills

* Want to feel closer to their partner

* Stuck in an ongoing negative cycle and want help moving out of that

* Trying to figure out if they want to stay in this relationship

* Specific argument or issue they want help resolving

* Heal from breaches of trust in the relationship (ex: affairs, history of dishonesty, etc)

* Find help navigating differences in parenting

Accordingly, our therapists have worked with many couples feeling uncertain about their future together. We understand how painful worrying about your relationship can be. We offer EFT marriage counseling, because it’s the most effective relationship therapy available.

Lifetouch Counseling’s Approach to Relationship Therapy

LTCs approach marriage counseling through this EFT lens that we have discussed above. During our first session together:

1. Getting a relationship history (what’s been good and hard)
2. Talking about your goals for marriage counseling
3. Your therapist sharing a plan of how to move forward

Afterwards, the therapist will meet with each partner individually. During that session, we look at how you received (or didn’t receive) comfort, care, and connection in childhood.

Subsequently, we will meet all three of us together for the rest of our sessions. In those sessions, the plan will be to use examples of when these patterns appear. We do this so we can learn where those patterns come from so you can change them.

Common Barriers To Marriage Counseling

Did you know that marriage counseling is the one type of therapy that people put off for years? It’s true! It’s very common and it makes sense why. Sometimes life circumstances get in the way of being able to start therapy. Perhaps, you got through a week without a blow-up fight. So, it doesn’t feel as crucial to go to therapy right now. Yet, by going now, you could be heading off more disconnection down the road.

Another concern is the fear of bringing a new person into your relationship. What-if the therapist sides with your partner. As EFT-Therapists, we don’t take sides. We work to create understanding and connection, not assign blame.

You have to be able to confide in your therapist about hard things and that can feel intimidating! It also makes sense that it would feel daunting if you’ve never been to therapy before and don’t know what to expect.

This is why we offer free 15-minute consultations. You can get to know us better and see if we could be a good fit for you before you commit to a first session.

Logistics also might get in the way–not being able to take the time off of work or drive to our office in Castle Rock. This is why we offer online marriage counseling services! We have a secure platform for both you and your therapist to sign on to so you can do your sessions remotely.

Still not convinced? Our Instagram page further explains attachment theory, EFT, and our approach to couples work.